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不久前，在上海举行的ESDP2023英语演讲与辩论五项上海辩论季冠亚季军辩论决赛中，来自复旦大学附中的彭枭瀚荣获高中组的冠军。应“郑新民谈英语教学与研究”微信公众号的邀请，小彭同学使用英文为大家撰写了一篇赛后心得。该英文文章的写作特色如下：
使用个人经历：文章以作者个人的学习经历为线索，讲述了他在英语学习中的历程和经验分享。这种亲身经历的叙述方式增加了文章的真实感和可信度。
感性与理性结合：文章在叙述自己的学习经历时，既有感性的表达，如描述挫折和打击，又有理性的思考，如提出建议和总结。这种结合使文章更加全面、平衡，并且读者可以从中获得情感上的共鸣和实用的建议。
使用通俗语言表达：文章的语言风格较为口语化，使用了一些口语化的表达方式，如“pick out”、“care little”等，使文章更加通俗易懂，贴近读者的日常口语交流。
并列句与排比句的运用：文章运用了较多的并列句和排比句，如“Speak as much as you can and never feel scared to open our mouth”、“尽可能多地说，不要害怕张开嘴巴”。这种句式的运用增强了文章的节奏感和语言的韵律感，使文章更加生动有力。
结构清晰：文章的结构清晰，按照时间顺序和主题顺序展开，分别介绍了不同阶段的学习经历和相应的建议。每一段落都有明确的主题和论述，使读者能够清晰地理解文章的逻辑结构。
以下是作者在文章中写得好的句子，符合英语的习惯表达：
"If the first step isn’t taken, there won’t be a second."（如果不迈出第一步，就不会有第二步。）这句话简洁明了地表达了行动的重要性和连贯性。
"Remember: 'You can only be you, yourself, for everyone else has got an 'other' to be.'"（记住：“你只能做你自己，因为每个人都有自己的角色要扮演。”）这句话通过对比和对立，生动地强调了每个人独特性的重要性。
"The path of English learning or say, any second language obtainment will be filled with obstacles."（学习英语或者说，学习任何第二语言的道路上将充满困难。）这句话使用了"or say"来进行解释和补充说明，使句子更加流畅和自然。
"What we can do is to try our best to remove them and go on and on!"（我们能做的就是尽力去消除困难，继续前行！）这句话使用了"go on and on"这个习惯表达，强调了坚持不懈的重要性。
对于我国学生学习英语来说，背诵、阅读和写作三位一体的学习方法不可忽视。这些技能有助于提高词汇量、语法运用和表达能力，从而更好地理解和运用英语。背诵可以加深对词汇和表达的记忆，阅读可以拓宽视野、提高阅读理解和文化认知，而写作则培养了表达和思维的能力，帮助学生更好地组织和表达观点。因此，这些技能在英语学习过程中起着重要的作用，并为学生提供了更多的练习和提升的机会。
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中肯地说，小彭撰写的英文文章也存在一些不足之处，譬如：
语法错误：在文章中存在一些语法和拼写错误，例如，"more than others"应该改为"more to gain from yourself than from others"，以及"What we can do is to try our best to remove them and go on and on!"中的"them"应该改为"those"。这些错误可能会对读者的理解产生一定的困惑。
表达不够精确：有些句子的表达不够精确或流畅，导致读者在理解作者的意图时产生困惑。例如，"Remember that there's probably more to gain from yourself rather than others"这句话可以重新组织为"Remember that you can gain more from your own efforts than from relying on others." 这样的改写可以更清晰地表达作者的意思。
过于夸张：有些词语或短语在文章中的使用不够准确，导致表达的程度不够精确。例如，"countless poundings and blows"中的"countless"可能过于夸张，不符合实际情况，也可能会削弱文章的可信度。可以考虑使用类似"numerous"或"many"这样更准确的词语。
缺乏具体的例子和细节：在文章中，对于一些观点或建议，缺乏具体的例子和细节来支持和说明。例如，在提到"Speak as much as you can and never feel scared to open our mouth"时，可以给出一个具体的例子，如提到一个具体的交流场景或经历，来说明该观点的重要性和有效性。
通过仔细校对和修正语法，精确选择词语和短语，增加具体的例子和细节来支持观点，以及对句子结构进行调整和优化，可以提高文章的准确性、流畅性和可信度。这也是中学英语新课标所提倡的语言目标和学习方法。
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English learning experience sharing
by Shawn 彭枭瀚 (High School Affiliated to Fudan University)
Hi, my name is Shawn, from High school Affiliated to Fudan University. I’ve walked past quite a long road on English learning and it’s my pleasure to share my experience with you.
I started relatively early to learn the English alphabet in order to set a concrete foundation for further study. That happened when I was in kindergarten. Word studies came right after the letters, for the usage or what we often call now ‘output’ is vital. As everyone else, the first word I learnt was ‘apple’! What may have made a difference lay on the fact that I learnt ‘phonetic symbol’. Perhaps that was also why I had a clearer view and more thorough understanding on the so-called natural spelling and reading method. Now, English learning finally came to a virtuous circle in the next 10 or so years.
Another turning point which posed an essential impact on the long-term wellbeing of my English learning was that I went to the English corner at Century Park, where I communicated nearly all the time with foreign friends. Perhaps that would be probably why many people firmly believe I’ve been abroad in my teenage years. I’ve been going there for about 4 years, learning and talking at every Saturday and sometimes even during summer vacations. It’s important to illustrate why it was so helpful to me. Essentially, I was outgoing and never afraid to convey my own thoughts! Even if you didn’t have enough vocabulary, foreigners tend to understand you and lead the way to right words. And as I had a strong curiosity to take in knowledge, I learnt a lot, at light speed.
Then, it was when 4 years flew by that I decided to switch to seek more rote learning, so I turned to books that provided more grammatic and vocabulary knowledge. The next 4.5 years also played a critical role in that I learnt more about English exam methods and more fundamental knowledge of English grammar. Seemingly, I was switching direction completely from talking (oral practices) to writing practices. Yet, I was taking on another stuff that would act as a huge milestone in my story——debating.
Public forum debate was the first and the only type I’ve tried until ESDP came to my life. At that time, I applied myself to all of PF’s rules, resolutions and ‘partner findings’. It was definitely a tough job. However, apart from gaining English knowledge, I gained, more importantly, how to communicate with people more efficiently and in a gentler way. I first attended NHSDLC—National High School Debate League of China when I was in Grade 7, which involved quite a bunch of quarreling during the debate found mostly in this type, and then another, and another, until I finally got a semifinalist in Grade 8 in Nanjing Regional Tournament. Altogether, I’ve signed up for 4 contests before finally quitting with a satisfied result for the naive me in 2017.
Interestingly, the two forms of English learning pushed me hard and empowered my overall abilities. After my debating experience, I took up speaking and got the national champion of the ‘FLTRP Cup’2018. Moreover, I also participated in the Model United Nations with foreign students form Peru, Netherland, the US and so on. Here comes the key tip I believe more young English learners can adopt: Competitions give you fantastic opportunities to enhance your speaking, increase your confidence and help you conquer one mountain after another before making all of them your ‘habit’.
After countless poundings and blows, here I am, standing again at the cross to change myself for the better. Having gone through my English street, or also 70% of my 17.5 years of life, I’ve got some words or suggestions on English learning listed as follows：
1) Speak as much as you can and never feel scared to open our mouth and pick out even the simplest words you have on your mind. If the first step isn’t taken, there won’t be a second.
2) Think carefully after every speech you’ve made, and every conversation you’ve been involved in. Remember that there’s probably more to gain from yourself rather than others.
3) As you’re practicing speaking, never forget writing skills. That’s where you can better output your vocabulary reservoir or grammar pool.
4) Be yourself and care little what others speak of you or want you to be. Remember: ‘You can only be you, yourself, for everyone else has got an ‘other’ to be.’
5) Finally, ‘There’s only one heroism in life in which you fully perceive the truth of life, but you still love life’. The path of English learning or say, any second language obtainment will be filled with obstacles. What we can do is to try our best to remove them and go on and on!
To sum up, I hope you can be clearer on what your next step should be like after reading my story. I’m still walking here on my way and remember: I’ll be walking with you all, finding my way out from the maze full of mist designed especially for me! And so should you be ready for yours!
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参考译文
英语学习经验分享
-- 彭枭瀚 (复旦大学附属中学)
嗨，我叫彭枭瀚，来自复旦大学附属中学。在英语学习的道路上，我走过了相当长的一段路程，我很高兴能与大家分享我的经验。
为了为进一步的学习打下坚实的基础，我比较早就开始学习英语字母。那是在我上幼儿园的时候发生的。字母之后就是单词的学习，因为使用或者我们现在常常称之为“输出”是至关重要的。和其他人一样，我学到的第一个单词是“apple”（苹果）！可能有所不同的是，我学会了“音标”。也许这也是我对所谓的自然拼写和阅读方法有更清晰的认识和更全面的理解的原因。现在，在接下来的大约10年时间里，英语学习终于进入了一个良性循环。
对我英语学习的长期福祉产生重要影响的另一个转折点是我去了世纪公园的英语角，我几乎一直和外国朋友交流。也许这就是为什么很多人坚信我在青少年时期曾经出过国的原因。我去那里大约4年时间，在每个星期六以及有时甚至在暑假期间学习和交流。重要的是要说明为什么那对我如此有帮助。本质上，我是一个外向的人，从不害怕传达自己的想法！即使你没有足够的词汇，外国人也倾向于理解你并引导你找到正确的词语。而且由于我对吸收知识有很强的好奇心，我以飞快的速度学到了很多东西。
然后，当4年时间飞逝后，我决定转而寻求更多的死记硬背学习，所以我转向提供更多语法和词汇知识的书籍。接下来的4.5年也起到了至关重要的作用，因为我学到了更多关于英语考试方法和更基础的英语语法知识。表面上看，我完全从口语练习转向了写作练习。然而，我又接手了另一项在我的故事中扮演重要里程碑的东西——辩论。
公共论坛辩论是我尝试过的第一种也是唯一尝试过的一种，直到ESDP（英语演讲与辩论项目）出现在我的生活中。那时，我全身心地投入到了公共论坛辩论的规则、决议和“伙伴发现”中。这绝对是一项艰巨的任务。然而，除了获得英语知识外，我更重要的是学会了如何与人更高效、更温和地沟通。我在七年级时首次参加了中国全国高中辩论联赛（NHSDLC），这种辩论中常常涉及大量的争论，然后是另一场辩论，再接着是下一场，直到最后我在八年级时获得了南京地区锦标赛的四强。总共，我参加了4次比赛，直到2017年对于那个幼稚的我来说，最后满意地结束了辩论。
有趣的是，这两种形式的英语学习让我付出了很多努力，增强了我整体能力。经过辩论经历后，我开始着手口语，并在2018年获得了“外研社杯”全国冠军。此外，我还参与了与秘鲁、荷兰、美国等外国学生一起的模拟联合国活动。这里有一个关键提示，我相信更多年轻的英语学习者可以采纳：比赛给你绝佳的机会来提升口语能力，增加自信，并帮助你征服一座又一座的山峰，直到将它们都变成你的“习惯”。
经历了无数的挫折和打击，我再次站在改变自己的十字路口上。 在我走过的英语之路上，或者说是我17.5年生命的70%中，我有一些关于英语学习的话语和建议，列举如下：
1）尽可能多地说，不要害怕张开嘴巴，即使是你脑海中最简单的词语也要说出来。如果不迈出第一步，就不会有第二步。
2）在你每次演讲和参与的每次对话之后，认真思考。记住，从自己身上获得的东西可能比从他人那里获得的更多。
3）在练习口语的同时，不要忘记写作技巧。那是你更好地输出词汇储备和语法知识的地方。
4）做你自己，不要太在意他人对你的评价或者希望你成为什么样的人。记住：“你只能做你自己，因为每个人都有自己的角色要扮演。
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5）最后，“人生中只有一种英勇，那就是你完全认识到生命的真理，但你依然热爱生活。”学习英语或者说学习任何第二语言的道路上将充满困难。我们能做的就是尽力去消除困难，继续前行！
总结一下，我希望在读完我的故事后，你能更清楚下一步该怎么走。我仍然在我的道路上前行，记住：我将和你们一起前行，在这个专为我设计的迷雾弥漫的迷宫中找到出路！你们也应该准备好迎接自己的迷宫！
转自：“郑新民谈英语教学与研究”微信公众号
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